A trade worth considering
When things go well, we tend to say: I earned this. When things go poorly, the story shifts: Circumstances intervened. Bad luck. Things were unfair.
This isn’t willful bad faith so much as reflex. Psychologists call it self-serving bias, but that phrase makes it sound clinical. In lived experience, it’s narrative maintenance. We are protecting the image of a capable, deserving self.
Over time, this habit quietly rewrites the story we’re living, shaping our sense of self and how we engage with the world.
The Hidden Costs of the Credit–Blame Split
Taking disproportionate credit for success inflates pride. Deflecting responsibility for failure seeds victimhood.
Both feel protective in the moment. Neither ages well.
Pride requires constant care and feeding. It must be defended, reaffirmed, and insulated from threat. It bruises easily. And because pride often rests on visible outcomes—status, achievements, recognition—it is vulnerable to gravity. The higher it’s placed, the farther it can fall, and the more dramatically it can shatter.
Victimhood has its own gravity. Once a storyline of “things happening to me” can take hold, agency quietly erodes. Resentment accumulates interest.
Neither posture leads to peace.
An Invitation to Inquiry
Instead of burnishing the story, what if we examined it?
- What have I truly accomplished?
- Where didn’t things turn out as I hoped—or as they should have?
- Where in my story do I locate pride?
- Where do I locate blame, misfortune, or victimhood?
Not as a courtroom exercise, or to dismiss any of it. As an act of non-judgmental curiosity.
Because something interesting happens when we widen the lens.
The Trade-Off Worth Making
What if we took less credit for what went well?
Not to diminish effort or skill—but to notice the vast field that made success possible: timing, health, teachers, family, social stability, chance encounters, inherited advantages, unseen helpers, sheer luck.
The reward for this reframing is immediate:
- Pride softens into humility
- Ownership expands into gratitude
- Achievement becomes participation rather than control
We lose something—egoic elevation—but we gain something sturdier.
A Different Formula for Happiness
Pride seems to elevate happiness, but never delivers it sustainably. It must be defended. It can be wounded. It depends on comparison.
By contrast, happiness appears to be made of softer but sturdier materials:
- love
- kindness
- forgiveness
- gratitude
These are things that must be given, and so require no safekeeping. They bend more easily when circumstances change. They grow stronger the more they are shared.
So the question isn’t: Is pride bad? It’s: Is this a good exchange?
Less pride for more gratitude.
Less authorship for more belonging.
Less self-importance for more peace.
And often, an easier contentment that asks less of the world to feel enough.
Disclaimer: The views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of any firm or organization. This content is provided for general informational and educational purposes only and should not be construed as personalized financial, tax, accounting, or investment advice. Although the author is a CPA and holds the PFS credential, no professional services are being offered through this article. Readers should consult their own qualified advisors before making decisions based on this information. The content may include information from sources believed to be reliable but is not guaranteed and may be subject to change without notice.
Copyright: © 2026 Jean-Luc Bourdon, Original text, structure, organization, and editorial revisions created by the human author. The author used AI as a drafting tool, but exercised creative control by rewriting, restructuring, and contributing original analysis, tone, and expression. Disclosure in accordance with U.S. Copyright Office guidance on AI-assisted works.